Portal cake

I was telling Mark last night that I plan on making the cake which was humorously alluded to and ultimately revealed in the game of Portal. The recipe is quickly shown a few times as part of garbled text transmissions but is somewhat more understandable as audio in the final level. (I'm being as general as possible to avoid any spoilers.)

There's a list of forty-one ingredients which reads innocently enough, then starts to degrade to the inedible before bottoming out to the absurd. This of course, matches perfectly with the sardonic humor of the game.

Quite a few websites have an incomplete or incorrect list but the following is the full version pulled from the GCF audio files:

One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
Four large eggs.
One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Two cups all purpose flower.

Don't forget garnishes such as:
Fish shaped crackers.
Fish shaped candies.
Fish shaped solid waste.
Fish shaped dirt.
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Pull and peel licorice.
Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
One cup lemon juice.
Alpha resins.
Unsaturated polyester resin.
Fiberglass surface resins.
And volatile malted milk impoundments.

Nine large egg yolks.
Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
One cup granulated sugar.
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
One large rhubarb.
One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.

Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
Slaughter electric needle injector.
Cordless electric needle injector.
Injector needle driver.
Injector needle gun.
Cranial caps.
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals. That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

As I suspected, some fans of the game have already attempted their own versions, some more successfully than others. You can view some of the results from Flickr here. I plan to base my recipe as true to the spirit of the original as possible but with none of the boxed or canned stuff. Results will follow...